What's worse than having a zit on your face? Getting blue waffle.. google if you don't know what blue waffle is..

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How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, quite strange to enjoy when you're single.

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the US. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

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1. Go to the WRITE YOUR OWN! section on this website. 2. Check the box on "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Service." 3. The Submit button should become available for clicking. 4. Now uncheck the box. 5. Thumbs up if the Submit button is still available. -BG_Shank_A

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

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Jesus, Buddha and Mohamed walked into a bar and say: "There is as much validity in this fiction as in our collective works.

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Yo momma so poor, she can't afford to live in a two story Cheerio box

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How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

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what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

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Women's rights

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Women. One of the genders a human can be.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

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A dog was driving his car down the road right? Wrong dogs can't drive cars

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I lost The Game, You just did too.

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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what brown, red, and green and smells like poop. diareeha

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Reading books

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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A dyslexic man gets asked what 1+1 is, he replies with a wopping 11. Grats <3

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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