so a man walks into a bar *pint of bud there please

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Don't you hate it when you have 5 dead bodies, and you don't know which one to shoot your load on? -no

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whats worse than a repeated antijoke the people that complain about them

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Two people were playing Monopoly. One was a blonde and one was black. The blonde said, "your turn".

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how bout that airplane foood!!!1

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what is big and white? Your Mom

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Leave. Now.

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What's grey and can't swim? A Castle

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Your dick is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? He was battling severe depression at the time. His alcoholism was tearing his family apart, he was declining in job performance and his boss threatened to fire him several times. I guess at that point he just decided to end it all. It was horribly tragic, policemen knocking on the door of his wife's chicken roost and informing her of the bad news. As soon as she heard, she rushed to the scene, only to see his mangled body spread across the street, intestines falling out. They held a closed casket funeral. Formal, all black. It was raining by the time the casket was brought to the cemetery to be buried. She hasn't stopped crying since. His children ask her, where's dad, but all she can do is weep. Suicide is bad, kids

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What worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face"? The horse does not respond, because it is a horse and lacks any cognitive ability to speak or understand English. Instead, it becomes confused by its surroundings, takes a dump on the floor, and gallops out of the bar knocking a few tables over in the process.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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What do you call a black man and an Asian at a school? Two hard-working, dedicated teachers.

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What's one thing that bothers EVERYONE? Mother Theresa

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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how do you make a little girl cry?? Kill her family

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What do you call a Black Priest? His title would probably be Reverend, and then his last name after it.

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One time at band camp, We practice playing our instruments and had fun.

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Where do you study to get a good education? A library, at home, or at another quiet location where it is easy to concentrate.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Set up Punch line.

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Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup! That's not a fly, it's a gnat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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