A: What are the nine most terrifying words in the English dictionary? B: What are they? A: I'm from the government and i'm here to help

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There was a young boy walking to school. and he found a red hairbrush on the ground. He then proceeded to walk to school. During lunch he examined the haircrush and it looked perfectly normal. A few days later, he decided he was bored with the hairbrush and decided to place it in a tree. A girl found the hairbrush. The end. You just wasted 30 seconds of your life. Ha.

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Why did the boy cry when he sat on Santa's lap? Because Santa's boner reminded him of his pedophiliac step-father.

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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What's sad about an elderly couple who has had a long, fruitful marriage? Nothing.

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Why did a man get fired from the M&M store? He was color blind.

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why was it sad that 3 men were crossing rail road tracks in a toyota and got hit by a train? they ruined the Toyota

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Why did the little boy have gum on his shoe? Because he stepped on it

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whant to hear my best inpression of a hijacking ok kjgnkdgsjikdfhjnknkdfngknhfkfbnkf

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What did michael say to sam? (pedo face) YEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A blonde walks into a bar. Shes now in a coma.

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Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

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Vaginal secretions

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What Do You Call A Fake Noodle? ----An Impastaaa!!!!!

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There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Misthrown

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was suicidal.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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Where did the did the Islamic person fly the jet to? Ben Gurion International Airport located in Israel

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Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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When life gives you gators, make Gatorade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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