Q:What did I get for Christmas? A:You, put on this leash.

if life gives you lemons you probably have problems

What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? Quality control or some other function.

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

why did the little boy put a bandaid on his knee. it doesn't really matter, he has cancer.

A Irish man walks our of a bar

whats beter than a dead pile of babies? the alive one that has to eat its way out

What do yo call four Jewish guys sitting around doing nothing? The Sabbath Day

96

Man 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Man2: Are you a tree? Man1: no.

Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

The Bible

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs sitting on a bench? Nothing. Why would you harrass a guy with no arms and no legs.

what do outgoing girls get on spring break? raped.

"What do you call a man who has bumblebee wings and fire for blood?" (The doctor on the other line has no answer. Tom desperately weeps into the phone, trying to grasp his sudden transformation. He finds no reassurance, and hangs up the phone.)

Did you hear about the blonde that went to college? She got a degree.

Why couldn't the black man sleep at night? His eye lids were cut off

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

Why did the chiken cross the road? Well its wing were clipped so it couldnt fly across the road.

Why did the woman walk into the men's clothing store? She's a lesbian. Why did the man walk into the womens clothing store? He had to buy his mom a birthday present.

whats wrong with 4 blackmen in a jaguar falling over a cliff?? That was my car...

Why did the man climb to top of the tower? To push the Jew off.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

What did the man with Tourette's say to the other man? Surely something he did not mean to say.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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