why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witnesses, can we have a moment of your time?

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Why do dogs bark? Idk why? Cause there dogs

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What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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Massie is a fatass

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A black man and a hispanic man are in a car. Who is driving? The guy who didn't call shotgun.

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When u send someone fudge, u must send a note along with it! Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge

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telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

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Why did the man go to Cantabria, Spain? Because he liked potatoes... jk

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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How do you turn a piece of meat into a vegetable Break her neck

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Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

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Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

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Up High. *high fives* In The Middle *high fives* Down Low *high fives* In the Grass *high fives* You've been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

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what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

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Your mum so ugly that she isn't married

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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