How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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Why was a white man surrounded by black men crying? He was in a support group for black men with vitiligo, which destroys skin pigments.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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whats green and lives in the water

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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A Mexican, Asian, and a black guy are on a bridge, the Mexican says there is too much rice and throws some off the bridge, the Asian says there are too many burritos and throw some off the bridge, the Black says there are too many candles in his house and throws his car off the bridge. Everyone was happy and left besides the Black because he threw his car off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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