roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

why was the little boy screaming. he realized he was an asian

What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

Why did the midget fall from a tall building? Because somebody pushed him.

What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

a man walked into a bar today he suffers from depression from his wife leaving him and taking custody of the children on the grounds that he is an alcoholic and is unfit to raise children

Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

*knock knock* i have diarrhea

Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

How do you kill a squirrel? Take the jaws of life. Rip it in half. And suck on the organs.

What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

why were maddie and maddy and rachel and jill all friends? we all enjoy pizza

What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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