Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's 1+1? 69.

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

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What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

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Teachers be like "Hold on class, I am almost done with my lesson!" Students: " Aint nobody got time 4 dat!"

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What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

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Whats worse than the holocaust A: not much

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

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Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

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Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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