Two cows are out in a field grazing. One falls over and dies because it was unhealthy and was ravaged with a deadly disease. The other cow, which does not understand death, continues to graze until the farmer moves it back to the barn.

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

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The Chicken was crossing the road one afternoon, he was fined by a police officer for J walking He made it to the other side.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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Baby Seal walks into a club.

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

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The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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What's worse than a real joke on AntiJoke? The Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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