How do you survive the end of the world? You can't- everyone will die!

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haha

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Whats on my leg? A pimple. What is it doing? Releasing a white/clear puss.

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edmond alward. handyman services. call 0858430803.

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What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

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A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

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What did Tiger Woods say when his wife hit him with a golf club? "Why did you hit me with a golf club".

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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Something told me to write "vote pancakes" so I wrote "Vote Pancakes" it said it was wrong, and now I know why, capitals.

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Your mother is so ugly that I removed her from my friends list on Facebook.

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why are black people always so funny because they think of funny jokes

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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A man fell in a hole. He's dead now...

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What did the one eyed boy say at the movie theater? 3D was a boy choice

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Ask me if I'm an orange? Are you an orange? No.

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Whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Guest what in the butt

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Why did Suzie fall out of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Fed-Ex, here's your new brother.

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Santa and a smart blonde jump of a cliff. Who gets to the ground first? Neither, they don't exist.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a double whiskey. The bar man says "what's with the long face"? The horse replies "My wife left me, took the kids with her, took everything, I'm devastated"

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What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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What do you call a woman with one leg? I don't know. I am not in the position, currently, of knowing anyone who finds themselves in such an unfortunate condition.

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What do you call a place full of large volumes of random, unwanted knowledge? The usersub on this site.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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