A woman walks into a bar.

roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

What did Rihanna remember when she corrected Chris Browns tweets she can't remember last thing she saw was a fist

What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings.

What is worse than getting hit by a car? Getting hit by a truck

Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive hair traits.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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