Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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A Horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?". The horse didn't understand English, so he took a shit on the floor, and left.

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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DO U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD BIRD BIRD, BIRD IS THE WORD? DON'T U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD? EVERYOBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRD IS THE WORD! Oh, no i did not know that the bird was the word.

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Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

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Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

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Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR SHIT STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Knock knock. With the invention of doorbells, knocking has become almost obsolete.

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You know whats funny? Women's rights

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Kony 2012 - Uganda Be Kidding Me

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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Your moma is so nasty. And one day she had a geust over and the geust says " May I use the restroom?" Yes but make sure you use the coffe can to the right because the letf one is full.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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