Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the baby say to the man? Babies can't talk ,the baby did not say anythingto the man!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Chuck Norris doesn't just have a chin underneath his beard. He also has part of his neck underneath his beard.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had celebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? Because she was a very poor worker.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

In mother Russia you don't eat cookie. Dog eat shark. -B.Gill

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's brown and seven feet tall? A door

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Hitler say to his wife? It's time to go start the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, we're taking your house. This is a vacation notice, please be out of the property in 30 days. Have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops