Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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whats worse than ur granny dying? uhhh...actually theres nothing is worse

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

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Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

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Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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