What's the difference between celery and a truck?

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

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whats long and black on a black guy slavery

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A stranger pulls up next to a little boy walking home from school. The stranger offers the boy a ride home. The boy says yes, gets in the car, and is driven home as promised

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Why was the little boy reluctant to approach his father? Because his father was a rotting corpse.

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A princess kisses a frog to aquire a prince.. then gets arrested for beastiality.

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What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

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What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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hey whats your name Im gonna hit you so hard........ that im gonna knock your block off

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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