How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

Yellow People !!

Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

Who is big and stupid My brother

What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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