My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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A woman with big boobs walks into a bar and gets raped

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Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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where does al queda go on a business trip the twin towers

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

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a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

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Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

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Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

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Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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