What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

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What did lil' Bobby get for christmas? Cancer.

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Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

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Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

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What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

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What's sad about Justin bieber getting thrown off of a cliff Nothing

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

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wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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