My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did Sallt fall off the swings? she had no arms knock knock who's there not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Jesus Christ

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I don't drink. I'm not 21.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red Violets are blue Just smoked some Meth nelnfjknfkjnwkejnkjnwefkjnKJNFKJRNFKWNEFEJNFJNWKEJNWFKEJFN

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What Happens if a Muslim boy gives you a bomb? You give it to someone else as your playing tnt tag and the bombs a toy

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

who is an indian that can not shoot a bow and arrow? David

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 encountered 7 in the Vietnam War where he killed 6's brothers, leaving him scarred. 6 has countless nightmares due to the numerous visions that reminisce that situation in great deal. Also, 7 had a big hook on his hand, which was very scary.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops