What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

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Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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