What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

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Gay people: "Quit calling Justin Bieber gay, we don't want him either."

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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If you are what you eat, then imagine a prostitute.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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in superbad, why couldnt seth take off mclovin's face and wear it as his own? no one can. theyre fictional characters in a movie

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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