I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

An Aussie, a Mexican and an Asian walk into a bra. You read that wrong.

i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

hers a joke... japanese people

My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

What's funny? Nick Sotelo

A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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