Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

If Oscar Meyer had a dog what kind of dog would it be? A Wiener Dog!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

thumb_up thumb_down +13

two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The chicken"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops