whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances, one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends PS: the one above was wrong sorry :(

What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

dylan wishes he could come up with funny jokes. but that is impossible for a man trying to bat with a .5inch ****

Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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