No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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What's black and white and red all over? A Nazi banner.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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