Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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hi

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Chickens are not smart enough to open a gate and avoid traffic at the same time!

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A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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