A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

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What was hitlers least favorite pokemon? Hitler didnt have a least favorite pokemon because hitler died long before the idea of pokemon was created.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

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If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

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What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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asians have slitted eyes lol

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

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100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

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Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

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One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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