What did one computer say to the other? 01001111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011 0100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 0100000 01101001 01110011 0100000 01101111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you scare a black man? You dont

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A bus with 12 black guys is driven off a cliff. What is the sad part of this story? ... Our beloved president was not involved.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was raped when i was little.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What happens after Madeline McCann disappears. Jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

"Do you like pie?" "No." "Do you like blueberries?" "No." "I have something you won't like." "Is it a blueberry pie?" "No, I shagged your wife last night".

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I saw a number three walking past me in the street the other day and I thought to my self that's odd.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Chuck Norris was so good at karate that he held the middle weight world title for 6 years and was named fighter of the year by Black Belt Magazine. He also used his talents to start a successful acting and advertising career.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -36

—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Who's dumb and retarted. A person that is dumb and retarted.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did the Asian man say when he got a math problem wrong? Damn it

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops