So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats sad about 4 black people in a cadalic fallign over a cliff? it wasnt there car

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if he stayed on the farm, he would have been condemned to a miserable life, subjected to deplorable living conditions and an eventual pain-filled death by the hand of a cruel and heartless farmer. Crossing that road was his only chance of salvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

thumb_up thumb_down

How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man is sitting on his couch. The lights go out and his TV begins to float away. He breaks down into tears believing he has been cursed for a crime he commited earlier.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down

Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

thumb_up thumb_down

whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down

why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why are asians bad drivers? Driving schools in asia are severely less developed and therefore produce less experienced and skillful drivers. They also have asian eyes (:

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What does the kid with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A: arms and legs

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Is your refrigerator running? Yes Wtf?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did Michael jackson say to Abraham Lincoln? Nothing, there are both currently deceased, if they did, however, say something to each other, it would not be in person, because they are both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock-knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? I just said it was Steve

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops