two hippo's were in the lake. The water was up to their eyes. What did one hippo say to the other? I don't know why but i keep thinking it's tuesday.

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Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

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A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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are you from hawaii? because your the only ten I see

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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Did you hear about the guys who were going to France? Well they are not going anymore.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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What's the difference between a snake, and a lawyer? A snake cannot comprehend law, nor can one attend law school and set up an office. They are also different species.

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Y did the boy fall down the stairs???? He was In a wheel chair

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Yo mama so fat she makes blind kids cry

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what do you call a dog with no legs? whatever his owner named him it is a shame he can`t run and play with other dogs.

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Being sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

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What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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