Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

thumb_up thumb_down -7

ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops