Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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What is funnier then 25 9/11

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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