Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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