A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Wtf?

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Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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Q: What did the Jew get for Christmas? A: Nothing you dumbass, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops