What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

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Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

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Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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What's black and white and red all over? The Nazi Flag in WW II

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Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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What's bigger than a horse ? An elephant.

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Guys, I think I'm gonna apply to join the Crips. My SAT score is a 2050, and their average score is a 2200. My GPA, however, is a 4.6, and their average is only a 4.2. Do you guys think that they will take me? Or should I try and apply for the Bloods?

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Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

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What is brown, creamy, and tastes like gravy? gravy.

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

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Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

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Q how do you feel? A with a series of nerve endings, that send signals to my brain

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

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Oh, go away

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Take part of what?

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Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Because they wanted to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops