Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

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Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

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How many anti jokes can you make from one joke? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40. 41. 42. 43. 44. 45. 46. 47. 48. 49. 50. And so on.

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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