What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

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Justin Bieber

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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