Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

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A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

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I have a really funny joke.

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Knock Knock.

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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What did Robin do in between crime fighting? He had a paper route.

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A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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