A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

why did the girl cross the road? no one knows because she was hit with a car and died on impact.

What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

Cripples are lame.

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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