Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

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In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

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Roses are red Violets are blue These are facts that many people know

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? He'd lost so much weight, due to AIDS.

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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Why did the blind boy cross the road? Why? The world may never know. He was hit by a bus

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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Why did the girl fall off the stage? Someone shot her.

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Kncok Whose there? Not Sally

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What's harder than breaking up with your girlfriend? A stone.

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"Sticks and stones" the man said and shat on three different complex turtles

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops