Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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