Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

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what has hair? Organisms, or at least most do.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

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The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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