Once upon a time there lived 3 polar bears; a mummy polar bear, a daddy polar bear and a baby polar bear. Ond day the baby polar bear said to the daddy polar bear "I don't feel like a polar bear, I'm cold!" and the daddy polar bear said "You look like a polar bear."

A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

What did the Frog say to the other Frog? Nothing they can't speak

why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

what didn't I do when making this joke? Read and agree to the terms of service.

what is white on top and black on bottom Society What is black on top and white on bottom Rape

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

Why did the guy go to the strip club? To look at naked people.

A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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