A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

thumb_up thumb_down +20

sky silverstein

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How Do You Solve A Impossible Math Question? You Dont. cause its impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why is pie good. because it just is.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's gay and Jewish? Henry Shine

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock. Who is there? The FBI. They have a warrant for your arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the goat cross the street? It was running away from the Tsunami

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops