Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

What do Miley and Bill Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

Ross.

I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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