Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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