What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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Yo Momma So Fat!

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What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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what did the crow say do the dead gazelle? - nothing the crow ate it

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

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What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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Knock Knock.

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Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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