Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Dane Cook makes a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

thumb_up thumb_down

My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops