Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Yo mamas so ugly that when she looked out the window, she was arrested for mooning.

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How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

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Q - Why did the baby spit out his dummy? A - Because i stabbed him.

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

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Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

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What did the chubby, dirty, hobo get for Christmas? Cancer

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why did matt die? He had cancer

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Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

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How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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