A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

How do you cheat your friend up Throw a BRIC at her face.

What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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