Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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what happened to the man that no one cares about? No one cares

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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bite me

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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Q: What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? A: One is a huge, flaming, Nazi gasbag, and the other is a drug-addicted talkshow host.

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding 2 worms in your apple

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How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

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i'm an inbred jew - Barras

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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What is funny about civil and women's rights? Nothing, they are very serious matters.

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

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What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

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Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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