A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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To men walk into a bar. One says to a paying customer, "Mind if I sit here?" and the other man inquires the bartender about so.e fancy drink that takes five minutes to prepare. After 23 minutes, naturally, they left at exactly the same time and they went home to their wife and kids. They both share a wife and kids.

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what do you call an anoying ginger? jimmy overby

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Even though I can't tell Because I am color blind

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Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

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what happens when steven hawking walks into a bar? everyone cheers at the miracle of science.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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What do you call the Doctor who graduated at the bottom of his class? Doctor.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

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So a bar walks into a man...

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dont be races! be like mario he is a italian plumer , he works for a white princess , catches coins like a jewish guy and he jumps like a black guy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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