What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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What did one dog say the the other dog? "We are both dogs"

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Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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What happened to the woman who walked down a dark alley way? She found a lolly.

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A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

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What do you get when you put two landsharks together? Three landsharks.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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[Set up] [No punch line]

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2 guys at a funeral. "did you know the girl?" asks one of the guys. "No" replies the other. "Me neither."

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

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How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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