Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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Why did the Indian cross the road? Trail of Tears.

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a guy walks into a bar. he suffered a severe concussion. BECAUSE THE BAR A POLE

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Cheese

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Why did the chicken cross the road To walk back

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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How old are you? 7

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God saw himself. Finally, proof.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a motorcycle nothing, I dont have either

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Balls

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops