Your moms so dumb that she has cancer..... wait thats racist

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have alzheimer's Hey I just met you Coopn8r

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

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What did Helen Keller say? Obcojbcidjbcidjbdijcbd

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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Barney is a pedophile Loves dino molestation Stuck a dildo in his ass And died of constipation

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

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I once heard a funny joke, it was as funny as a funeral

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Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

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Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? No one knows.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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