I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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guess what? WHAT? Idk.

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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How do you blindfold an asian? step 1: Fold your blindfold into a triangle step 2: Wrap blindfold around the head of the asian step 3: Tie the blindfold on the back of the asians head step 5: You forgot 4 step 6: Your finished step 4: Tighten the blindfold Now you know how to blindfold an asian ˜´??

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Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

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I used to have an ugly,black and disabled man as a friend. However, he had a very nasty personality so we are no longer friends.

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There are 3 Chinese guys migrating to the USA, Chu, Bu and Fu. . Chu added a 'ck' to? his name and became Chuck Bu did the same thing and became Buck. Fu got sent back to china

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What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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Hai Patrick Hai Patrick

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Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

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Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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