Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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Happy Birthday! Your mom is dead!

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3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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yesterday, a girl asked me why a guy is Bro if he bangs alot of chicks, and chicks are hoes if they do alot of guys. i said to her “well, if one key can open a lot of locks, then it is the master key. if a lock can be opened by alot of keys, then it’s a shittyass lock, isn’t it

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Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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A dead guy walks into a grave.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

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What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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What happened to the couple that got married? They went on their honeymoon.

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How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

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Stop making 9/11 jokes their just plane unfunny

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What makes my fourth grade librarian hot? The fact that I set her on fire

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I am back with more jokes! -Lets go Mets It is best to dislike this one

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What did Hitler say when he was dying? He said, "I'm dying."

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Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

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Knock Knock No solicitors

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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