Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

Your mother is so stupid that she has lived a very unfulfilling life due to her lack of education.

How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

Do You Know You Have Cancer?

What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

Hi I'm Ben What's your name? I forgot. Hi "I forgot" what's your name? Ben

this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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