your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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the person who wrote 1 under me is gay

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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what did one computer say to the other .........

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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Gustavo Andrade

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 had paranoia.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Roses are red Violets are Blue Let's just screw

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why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

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Anti Jokes = Drained

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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