What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

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100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If I Had A Brick I Would Throw It At You

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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A miserable man committed suicide.

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knock, knock who's there? Dave. ....oh well dave's not here man.

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

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Q: What does a giraffe say to the other giraffes? A: Nothing, giraffes do not have vocal cords and are therefore unable to make any sounds, much less speak; not to mention a giraffes brain is far to underdeveloped to talk in a spoken language.

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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roses are red violets are blue do i care? no.

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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