A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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why could the black person jump higher than the white person. because the white person had no legs

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Why can't the man get a good jod? Because he did not go to college and there for did not get a good education.

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

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My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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Today I went to the grocery store. I purchased milk, eggs, orange juice, and my favorite breakfast cereal for $18.73. I subsequently got into my sedan and drove home.

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

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What is red and has wheels? Grass, I lied about it being red and having wheels.

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so a baby seal walks into a club, the bouner immedietly kicks the seal out because it is too young to be in a club and also.....itsa seal

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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Why did the girl go to Jupiter? To get more stupider

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops