How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

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A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

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How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

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Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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What do you call a black man helping an old woman cross the road? A concerned citizen.

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I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the Christian turns to the Atheist and says "If you don't believe in god you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "Your Mom doesn't believe in god." And then turns around to order another drink.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

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why was the kid crying his dad is a alchoholic

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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I am not physically scarred, rather mentally, lets just say my childhood was a lot less than pleasant, I got no idea where you got that "Nero lost an arm" thing, I got both arms working. But I guess I often feel alone because only I can feel, see and experience the pain of the scars a terrible childhood has left me with. You are right though, it is easy to give up saying that humanity is not ready or worthy, making me feel as Dr.Doom or something alike, hidden behind some suit of armor still ashamed for things I know that I am not, but that still burn deep within my mind. PTSD buddy, it does not matter if I logically believe that I am competent or not, when my past is engraved, etched into my soul, constantly telling me I am not, so helping others is actually pretty easy, yet saving myself, I do not know how anymore, it is easy to change the minds of those that have not been broken time after time physically and mentally by those which they love the most. I will heal, your words are inspiring, thank you.

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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-What's sad about four black guys driving off a cliff? -They were my friends.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

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What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

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Q: What do you call a innocent black man that was shot 403 times by the cops when they asked for his ID and somehow assumed he was gonna reach for a gun? A: Deceased Texan.

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rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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