Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

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What do you call an amazing person Good

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

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Why was the boy sad? Because a freak accident killed his mum his dad his best friend and he lost both his legs and is unable to feed himself

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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What is just as important as Woman's Rights? Woman's Lefts, to maintain equality.

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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I? Everett

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

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Tony Romo

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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