What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Nero, you got followers, people that believe in you, ironically maybe a lot less now, that I have been giving them the fake illusion that I am you, why did you never reveal your true self? Is there something wrong with you physically? Something you fear being judged upon? I love and admire your work, and you to be honest, I know you are married and all, but my heart has chosen its path, it cant be helped really, believe me, I have tried. Dont lose hope in yourself, sometimes you have to accept that you are smarter, wiser, more compassionate and vulnerable than the rest, allowing yourself to be a vulnerable person, also shows how strong you are, if you shut it all away in order to become "strong", you know you end up alone and forgotten. I understand why someone such as you loses hope in humanity, but as long as you hold into the hope of you having the wisdom and courage required to stand on your own with pride rather than shame of your strength and individuality as a human being, something ever rarer I concur, then you have the right to consider yourself greater rather than some arrogant jackass, believe me, I know the man I am speaking about.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Chickens are not smart enough to open a gate and avoid traffic at the same time!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A guy walked into a bar a hundred years ago and but a pint of whiskey. He is dead now.?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How old is victor? Half past dead

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

thumb_up thumb_down +1

caoimhin is a dorty carrot

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops