What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happened When The lion asked the dog of a soda can? The giraffe who is taller the lion or the whos the fastest?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock Who's there? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar...so what? People do it all the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hey, did you see that episode of Glee last night? It was awesome! Especially that scene where they all sang. It wasn't as good as the previous ones, but I think the show it making a comeback.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests Testicals

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the 80 year old man do to celebrate valentines day with his wife? Nothing, Alzheimer's made him forget about Valentines day.....and that he was married. What did his wife do for Valentines day? Killed herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? A. I don't were cleats when I jump on my trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stoplight turned green

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The cream, it is coming

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops