Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

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Q What did Stevens mum say when he asked to be an astronaut A no your heads too big

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What page are you on The gay page.

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if i get 1,000 likes ill kill your hole family

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What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt.

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Why did I laugh at a joke? Cuz it was funny

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

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What did the cat say when someone pointed out that cats can't talk? Meow.

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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What do you call sad communities that have to share resources? Communists.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was at a crosswalk and the walk light was on.

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A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

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hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha

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ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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