a young mother cow died in a street crossing by a large oil truck, she was never buried and became infested with maggots in the next few days

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

How is a woman like a condom? They are not. A woman is a human being and a condom is a man-made rubber object used as contraception in sexual intercourse

Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Oh, I thought you could tell me. I will ask someone else. See you later.

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

Why did The white man loose his black friend? Because he ran away.

Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

ATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

why did the blind kid cross the road... because he was sick of being blind

I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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