A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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Why did Billy die? His mother killed him.

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear turns to the rabbit and says "I have colon cancer."

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How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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What do you call a house full of Mexicans? A house

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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