How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

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If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why didn't the man tip his waitress? Because he's a cheap bastard.

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did you hear about the argument between jamie jacob and dylan? daniel killed them all

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A lesbian couple, a straight couple, and a gay couple walk into a bar. They enjoy their drinks and camaraderie.

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What happened to the woman who walked down a dark alley way? She found a lolly.

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

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What is computers and smells like thin and fragile? dyslexic nipples.

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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Why was the boy so tired? He had to carry his moms dead body up the stairs.

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Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? alot of things, worms don't taste that bad.

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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how do you complete an exam. dont be kaizen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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