I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

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Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

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Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

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1 111111 1 1 11111111111 1 1 111111 1

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

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I'd like to advertise the love of Jesus in Kobane. Do u join me next Monday? :D

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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Q. What is ginger and ginger? A. a ginger

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops