One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

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What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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