The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

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What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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A Mexican, a Jew, an American and an Indian are on a plane with no parachutes. No one jumps out because no one has a parachute.

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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Why did Teresa fall off the swing? She had no arms. Who is knocking at the door? Not Teresa.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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You killed my brother and call me the antichrist? Its lovable: Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the **** are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming? He died for their sins, not for yours... WELCOME TO HELL!

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chuck norris was bit by a snake, a few hours later he died

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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How does God choose who goes to heaven? I'm just kidding, there's no God.

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Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

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Why did the balck man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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