What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

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Wanna hear a joke? Niklas Bendter being good at soccer. Wanna hear a funnier joke? Your Mom Wanna hear the funniest joke?

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

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Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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