What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

Why did Stephen hawking walk into A bar? He didn't. This situation is impossible considering the fact that he suffers from a horrible condition causing terrible muscular paralysis preventing him from walking.

What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

roses are blue violets red im color blind vatalk is gay

Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

Why are black people like jelly beans? Nobody likes the black ones

A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

your momma so fat.... that as she walked by....... i missed 3 commercials

Baby you're so hot I have an erection the size of an average penis.

a very large and muscly guy walks into a bar and finds a scrawny white guy he asks him if he has ever been in a fight with someone bigger then him the man says no the large man then leaves the bar and they both continue on with their day

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

Why did Sally failed gym class Because she couldn't do push ups

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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