Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What's worse than finding out you have genital herpes? A: Finding out your grandmother gave them to you

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Santa Claus is so hairy he need to shave more often.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened to the Asian who ran into the wall with a boner? He ejaculated his sperm, impregnating the wall. The wall went to the authorities, and the man was charged with rape. He is now serving a 10 year prison sentence, with no possibility of parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? It varies. Alzheimer's is a very slow progressing disease, and many people suffering from it are capable of a wide variety of a number of everyday activities.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What was so sad about the white woman who dropped her Starbucks? It fell on her baby in a nearby stroller giving it third degree burns, disfiguring its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mother is so fat, that she was instructed by her doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease later in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance cocvered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being deined coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be covered." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the Albino get for Christmas? Hair dye.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops