a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and cross back again? Because he was a dirty double crosser

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

yo mamma's so fat you're fat too, because it's genetical

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

Get on the boat.

What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

you that read wrong no you typed it wring my mind just rearranged the words to make grammatical sense

If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

What has four wheels and flies? A flying car.

What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

What is funny about a cod swimming around alone in the ocean? Nothing, over-fishing is a huge problem in the modern day.

Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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