Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

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Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

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A bar walks into a man

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Whats really down a black hole? I don't know...The last person to go down one never came back because he died of AIDS.

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these jokes are not funny but there funny because there not funny aaaaaaaa pissing me off

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knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

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A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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