What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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Give one reason for not visiting a hotel. Basil Fawlty is the manager.

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot you racist BITCH! Its ok a niggah gots altititude.

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A baby walks into a bar, not long before it leaves out of the bar.

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Mini mouse was brutally killed n Oakland Now Mickey is a Chinese member of the crips in Compton Remember don't forget to see the new Disney movie, Mickey Goes Gang-Bangin

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? Well, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Master Pain's (Betty's) "butt". You would most likely get a bungee jumping owl.

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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roses are blue violetrs are green im shooting heroine into my head

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What did the dead man say to his best friend? Nothing.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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What's black and blue and hates sex? A rape victim.

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deez nuts

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops