Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Why did the boy drop his vannlai ice cream?because Vannlia ice came.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

why is 6 scared of 7? because 7 eight 9

thumb_up thumb_down -55

What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

thumb_up thumb_down +50

why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Anti-jokes are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

yo mamma's so fat she's fat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

thumb_up thumb_down +28

why do some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because they can be extreamly delishus and satisfying to eat. Why dont some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because then we would all be too big to fit on earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops