What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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What did one jew say to the other? Hello.

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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If I tell you that seeing you happy, is my main motivation towards accepting right now, would you believe me?

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My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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Why did the mexican mow the lawn. Because the grass in his front yard is longer than he likes it .

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A guy walked into a bar. He got drunk. He hit a small child with his Suburu and was charged with a DUI.

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Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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What's worse than hitting your thumb with a hammer? Getting your spine ripped off

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have you seen Helen Keller's bird house? neither has she

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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my boloney has a first name its OSCAR, my boloney has a last name its MEYER.. now bend over son while i shove my boloney in ur butt!

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A man walks into a bar, it's funny because he is an alcholholic

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Yes, I'll have the cordon bleu, see voo play.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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what do you call a black guy african american

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A man walks into a bar.. and has a bomb strapped to his chest

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Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

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If a tree falls in the forest, but nothing is there to hear it, does it still make noise ? Yes, because whether the action of the three falling produces sound waves or not is not dependent on whether something is there to receive these waves.

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i love to lick...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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