like this or you will die at some point in your life

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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Why did Suzie die? She ate too many fried twinkies.

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So there's this big ass bronco right? It goes to a store and it asks Ben Roethlisberger "Do you know where I can find some girls to rape?" Ben Roethlsiberger says "In aisle 5" so the moose goes down to aisle 5 but there aint no girls!

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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Justin Beiber has fame, his own bodyguards, he has performed many shows and has everyone's attention. What do you have? A penis.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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What is the name of Helin Keller's street, state and pet Street: Mahhehb State: Hahgre Pet: habdsa

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

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What did the frog say to the other frog Your a chode

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Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

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N-E Pats never cheated

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What do a blonde and a good beer have in common? They both go down easy.

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Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

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What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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