Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

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Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Throw a fridge at it

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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Obama = ebola

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They all say ouch and then continue walking. Although the minister did hit it at a higher speed and ended up with a black eye.

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Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

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how do women get from the kitchen to the bedroom? they walk there.

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Where is the bathroom, I need to go poo.

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Boner

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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Q. I look in a mirror. What do I see? A.My reflection

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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