Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, and they don't have to be blonde, anyone can screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his wife in the hospital. She has terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A blonde walked into a bank. She deposited her check, thanked the teller, and promptly left.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So, my friend David hasn't always been the sharpest tool in the shed. After all, he is a spoon.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you blindfold an asian? step 1: Fold your blindfold into a triangle step 2: Wrap blindfold around the head of the asian step 3: Tie the blindfold on the back of the asians head step 5: You forgot 4 step 6: Your finished step 4: Tighten the blindfold Now you know how to blindfold an asian ˜´??

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The holoca- *the man hearing the joke then pulls out a desert eagle and shoots the man in the chest before finishing the joke then goes to jail for the rest of his life*

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Want to hear the story about how I got put in prison? So I have an odd bunch of friends: one of them is Polish and he works at a call centre, the other is a slave trader and his name is Richard. We tend to meet outside our Polish friend's house to speak or to do "business" when need be (I run errands for Richard) and the other day that's where I got asked to kidnap an American. "That's strange" I thought, but nevertheless I went out and took the American from his house and carried him over in a sack over to our meeting place. I handed him over and sneaked off as soon as I could, thinking I was home free. But I wasn't. The police turned up all angry like. There were witnesses. Turns out a bunch of kids saw me giving Dick a Yank next to the telephone Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops