Roses are red, Violets are blue, Where is the bathroom, I need to go poo.

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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Q. I look in a mirror. What do I see? A.My reflection

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

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How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

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what do you call justin bieber having sex baby baby baby oh

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Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

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You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

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A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

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360 NO SCOPE

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John: Hey Debbie, do you wanna go see a movie with me? Dina: My name is Dina

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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