One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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Three men walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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womans rights...

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How many vikings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Probably just one, though I'd imagine it hard to teach someone from the 9th century C.E. how to, let alone explain electricity.

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YOU WONT GIVE THIS A THUMBS UP!!!! YOU WONT DO ITTTT

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What do you call a man covered with cottoncandy and goes to the store and buys a jar of pickles? George

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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As he stood in her front yard with a boombox in the pouring rain, she leaned her head out the window with a smile and he was electrocuted.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

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The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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This man was known to beat his wife alot, To the car door to open it for her...

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Hitler.

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Dani Barton is a stupid GIRL

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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Whats worst than a cold? Being shot in the face repeatadly by a rocket launcher until death.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, you are my slave, get back to work!

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Knock Knock Who's there A serial rapist

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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