A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm dying of AIDS so I guess I'm feeling a little sorry for myself"

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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A blonde dies Lololol

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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