An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The Police The Police who? We're sorry Ma'am your son has died in a car accident... --------- Knock Knock! Who's there? Not your son

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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Knock knock Who the fuck says knock knock?

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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why did dicks dicks the dicks dicks? because you're gay and dicks

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Why did the deer cross the road? It didn't, the animal species is incapable of having a logical reason to possessing the will to cross a road. ruhtard

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If a black person gets a tan, what do you get? A burned black sausage.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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Are you antijoke.com. Because you are a faggot.

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how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

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why was the little boy happy? Because he wasn't in the penn state locker room.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

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Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them was a salted Peanut

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops