A family of five sit on a bench, the bench falls the family die.

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Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

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What did the 11 year old boy get for christmas? A wet dream

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There's my tractor.

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Whats more fun than swinging a baby around on a clothesline at 200 miles per hour ? Stopping it with a shovel

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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So there is a muslum, then he flew a plane into a building and died a sudden death. But he was wearing a helmet.

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What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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Whats black,white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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This Irishman walked into a pub and then drank hard liquor for the next 3 hours.

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what is the name of the book that helen keller wrote LADIUFgSLDGFhalkjgfvcgh

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What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

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why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

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last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

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what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

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Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

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What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

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A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a platypus? Well, I don't think it's genetically possible by nature, but Turtpus is a pretty funny name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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