How do you get a black man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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What is black and white and red all over? I don't know. I was hoping you did.

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THIS!!!!!!! IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SPARTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What happens when a fat guy falls ? Ohio has another earthquake.

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How do you keep someone in suspense? Refuse to let them view the resolultion of a gripping film.

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Did you see Stevie wonders house? Neither did he.

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What did the chicken say to the duck .... Nothing the chickin was Spanish and the duck was illiterate

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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Whats worst than being raped by a black guy? Being raped by two black guys? You racist i'm calling the police.

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swag

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There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

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haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

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What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

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Why wasn't Kevin Love able to draw a perfect circle. Because, he just wasn't able to get the job done

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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Grace Ackerson

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Roses are flowers.

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and their friend Satan asked if they heard about Jesus, and they said No.

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Four men are stranded on a small desert island. The first of them decides to build a raft out of bamboo, but it only has room for one passenger. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouted to the men on shore as he left, but a band of pirates killed him in the middle of the ocean. The second castaway was more clever, and built a submarine out of bamboo and sealed it with hides of animals they had killed. He counteracts the buoyant force with sand. In this way, he planned to avoid the pirates by being underwater. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he exclaimed as he sealed the one person sized chamber of his submarine, but not far off shore, he runs out of oxygen and suffocates to death. The third castaway learned from the mistakes of the first two, and in spite of the unpredictability of handcrafted aerial vehicles, he makes a glider. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouts from the hill top of the island as he leaps off and glides over the horizon. Though the journey is fraught with peril, he makes it back to civilization and is reunited with his family. It is expensive, but he prepares an expedition back to the island where his fourth comrade remains. It is worthy to note that on this small island, all the means of making shelter had been used up in the construction of the raft, submarine, and glider. The fourth castaway was found dead from exposure to the elements.

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Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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