Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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There was a man posting an anti-joke... He had no life

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An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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Why did the girl run to school Because a lion was chasing her

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Why don't meth addicts like food? Because they have not teeth to chew it with.

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I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face

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Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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How many electricians does it take to fix a light bulb? One

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What does an Eagle and a Mole have in common? The are both of the kingdom Animalia, possessing many organ systems and cellular similarities. And they both live underground. Except for the Eagle.

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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Yo mama's so fat that after her enima, she looked skinny and rather nice

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Q: What is strange about Arabs? A: Very little.

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Who did sally vote for in 1920 Nobody woman couldnt vote until 1928

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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