What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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The Dark knight rises................. From the place he was before he rose.

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A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

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Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she was dead.

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

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Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

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Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It escaped the zoo.

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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