Yo mama's so fat that she has a heart condition.

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Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

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I'm gay Mr Goodwin

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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why did the person die? He was 90 years old and was sick. Its natural

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Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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Why did the black man cry and scream? It's anybody's guess. He was having a rough day.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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What does it take to play in the WNBA? Nothing....

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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