Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didn't Johnny have any food left? Because he ate it all.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what is black and looks like a rasberry a blackberry

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

So a baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

An Asian person drove home safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock The doors already open

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red Violets are blue My head itches I'm going to get this guy to itch it for me

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I like my women like i like my coffee... with big titis

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops