Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

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Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

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Your mama sucks so much dick, it's not funny.

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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What did the white man say to the group of black men when there was a golf ball coming at them? Stay there! You are in no immediate danger!

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If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Seeing as this situation is logically impossible considering that Adolf Hitler died in the year 1945 and Osama bin Laden was born in the year 1957, I would be in a room with just a black guy and two bullets. Then I would proceed not to shoot the black guy on the fact that I enjoy the talking and learning about cultural diversities between the black and white races.

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Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

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What's worse than being raped? Not a whole lot-- rape is a very serious mental and emotional strain that will stick with a person for the remainder of their life.

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What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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Why did the boy die? He got hit by the school bus.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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